I have a colleague with a social disorder who was also diagnosed with an intellectual disability as a child. I’ve tried to deal with him positively to the best of my ability but he continues to annoy me to the point of harassment and/or stalking. I don’t want to be insensitive to him because I’m sure he’s a lovely person but I cannot emotionally deal with him anymore. I’m past my last straw with him. What do you suggest I do? Irresistible.
If you feel this way then you need to be honest with this person. If you try to ignore them they won’t know the reason and if you ignore your feelings then your life could become… well, hellish.
It can be difficult if someone has a mental disability or has history of it. In my experience though, people with disabilities respond a lot better when you treat them as you would anyone else. That doesn’t mean that you scream and yell but that you acknowledge and value their feelings. No one likes to feel small in another person’s eyes.
There is a way to speak the truth without being harsh. First, look them in the eye and use their name. Speak softly and genuinely, but be firm – they’ll understand what you mean. If you listen to them it will help you to know how best to speak to them. A little straight-talk is good for the soul and sometimes a spoonful of honey helps the medicine go down.
Once you exhaust absolutely every option, you need to be prepared to accept the fact that this person might not change their behaviour overnight or at all.
Try your best to be patient. At the end of the day, some of us are just too awesome to be left alone; we’re irresistible! No matter how heavy it is, we must bear this terrible burden of lovableness with courage.The truth will set you free!
If you want some professional advice on this topic here are some helpful links: